it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
