period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
