shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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