I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize