Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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