I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
