The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
