Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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