are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
