i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
so much tequila, so little girl.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
