i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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