shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
