So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
