Don't you send me to vm
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize