We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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