So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Randomize
