Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
