Jerry, you need to find god
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
