he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
