he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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