at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize