and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
