Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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