You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
