He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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