We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
apparently the secret to your success is patron
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
