hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I skipped work to stalk him.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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