I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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