What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
