I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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