last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
