doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
