would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
