I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Randomize
