forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
