I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
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