My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
