just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Randomize
