I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
and she was petting her beer can
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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