The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
