she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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