i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
