he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He shit in the fireplace
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
