my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
