we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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