i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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