do herpes really smell.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
