did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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