I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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