so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
