Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
