if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
