So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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