they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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