She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
