Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
