What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize