A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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