Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I have so many feelings about this burrito
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
