Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
