I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I love having hate sex.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
