the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
