on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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