well you can't waste a boner
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
